attachment over.
getting from bad to worst,
my character.
felt that im not as gentleman as i used to be
not as efficient, not as polite, not as helpful.
procrastinating my work.
and ya i nv pay attention in lects today.
screwed up my life. -.-'''
maybe im getting tired of life
and i begin to heckcare everything.
only realise my mistakes after commiting them
and i was like ''shit, i was suppose to do this do that'' -.-'''
wonder what's wrong with me.
everyday wake up blur blur de.
am i jus tired or wat?
i'm suppose to change for the better
not for the worst.
damn it.

i dont want to live my life in shambles.

1 more week of attachment.
finally, its going to be over.
i swear that i will do anything
to prevent myself from working
in that kinda environment.
i would make my worklife
exciting and rewarding!
not jus repeating the same work
like a machine!!!!
time to wake up,
time's running out!

transition between teenager and adult.

with a levels and o levels pressing in
(duh like its ever going to concern me now)
all my friends/juniors blabla were mugging like mad.
sharp contrast as compared to me last time.
i dont really rmb studying THAT much.
ermm... was waitin for S.H.E at taka for a
whooping crazy 12 hours,
its one day before humans paper.
i rmb bringing my txtbk to study
but in the end i use it for a sheltar against the sun. XD
chem paper i was playing pool at Lot 1 for the whole day.
ermmm.. and i was abt to give up amaths that day
but i went eventually cuz
i knew my mum's gonna chainsaw me if i din. LOL
ya and i passed. =)
ya why did i blog abt these.
hmmm ya was looking tru mel's blog (thank me for reading urs!)
and saw an entry describing her class. its touching
brought back lotsa memories. T.T
unity have sucky principles, teachers, symbol (infamous bald eagle) etc etc
but still there're gr8 ppl except for some of losers (the dumb twins etc)
they're all my great friends who i have lotsa fond memories with
we grow tog, LOL, laugh tog (bd parties & chalets) n cry tog (syf),
fought together (regent and the NA malays LOL).
its a place where i first taste love
and first endure the pain of losing it (definetely memorable)
also a haunted house at night for us to go ghost hunting (2004 aug)
we really ran into some.
some of us were 'cursed' example: weejian XD
attending chem lessons, breaking testtube
pissing mrs quah and labtech off. XD
bought fruits for art classes and ended eating dem up
before drawing. *bangwall
organising the first bandcamp of unity's symphonic band
it all went well tru the efforts of everyone!
ar! and hiding in the girls toilet wif elis tru the night
we almost survive the game. LOL
-.-''' oh ya, went to the band concert and hand
was almost ripped off by elis for taking her hp.
the favourite piece of song frm band
By The Rivers Of Babylon.
went to Mr Chong's hse during new year?
played block catching and turn his hse upside down.
oh, the first and last funfair of unity
won some stuff toys for xin.
and malvina da jie da.! always suan by me.
LOL. really really nice ger despite her lianess XD
god, i tink i can go on for nights. -.-'''
i shall stop here, waking up early tml. zzz
ehh, there's no priority in sequence of events.
like which i mention first were dearest to me.
i jus wrote wateva came to my mind.
of course there's a lot alot more.
shall update more if i feel like it nxt time.

diana, as always, was mean wif her words again
but i can understand,
might be that she's cross for me making
that snide remarks,
'ohh, this aint a bible (harry potter- hbp), the bible is the last book i would ever read'
i know its kinda insensitive,
but duh, cmon
anyone who isnt religious would
hardly wana read any sutra, bible etc right?
and thats before i start laughing at a line in the story and
she said 'duh, fantasy, fiction are a waste of time'
i was urging to say
'ya, i would have died laughing while reading a bible'
i dont see the point of being religious wif
THIS KINDA PEOPLE around.
well not like any other religion is superior,
all is the same. so no offence. zz
i was wondering that what if
one day these ppl stop believing in GOD?
would dey lose their moral values
and start killing , committing crimes?
hmmm.......
most probably. >.<
anyway, i've moved up 1 level,
not promotion. 1 floor level!
started doing new things
but to my dismay that it's more more pathetic
than the one im doing last time.
and i think i had a bad habit of spacing out.
i can space out doing my work,
doing anything even play an intensive dota game.
arghs, im so used to it during my sec sch days
i mus kick that habit awayyyy!
im scare that i'm become more stupid. -.-'''
arghs~ losing confidence again. zz *slap myself.
sigh, nvm it's just 2 more weeks.
hang on. :)

dont dare to look back..

haven't been enjoying myself since
the start of 'holidays' -.-'''
wonder whether am i going to
be ready when sch reopen >.<
zzz heck care le,
i gonna have my holidays back!

determined and ready to go.

arghs!! went to club momo today!
lolss, no choice have to accp ben
cannot pangseh him anymore liaos.
went there hardly know anyone
i appear very reserved. >.<
din dance much at first,
even ppl ask me to sit i also dunwan.
i don't know why the hell im so shy lars hahaha!
den the girls have to coax me into dancing
started by asking me to intro and stuff. t
hey were older than me but dey look younger than me o.o'''
all business studies graduate! quite nice ppl.
den dey drag me to the dance floor and make me dance.
but i jus shake there nia. -.-'''
i damn scare and paiseh lohs.
keep looking over to look for ben
and hope he will come back soon.
but den i realise i didnt have my specs,
was almost as blind as a bat. zzz
still, it doesnt stop me from turning over and look.
psychology bah. >.<
guess they knew it den tell me dont dance
as if im dancing alone leh! -.-'''
i think dey mus have tot of me as a veri proud kid. =/
IM NOT. im jus shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy XD
and ya, one of the girls talk to me and pat my head
before she left for the dance floor. -.-'''''
machiam i like xiao di di to them lo.
hahahah nah, im just pure & innocence. XD
sigh, i have to learn to be
more open and sociable in this kinda situation,
or else i gonna offend alot of ppl i tink.
hmm yaaa.. dont know if my presence & attitude
make u feel uncomfortable.
first i told u im not coming and later i appear
all ben's fault k.
im not showing attitude
i did try to look for a chance to talk to u
but u were surrounded by ur 'girlfriends'
lol and momo's club is still freaking crowded la. XD
ya, all in all iss because i have no confidence in myself.
tonight at momo had really proven it,
i was afraid to speak my mind and behave normally,
cause i have no confidence that ppl will
accept me for who am i, so i put up a 'shy' front instead
and it doesnt reflect very well on me.
since the first day u noe me, u shld knew it bah.
im trying hard to change now.

the glorious nights.

im sorry.
dont turn me away just when
i had realise my mistakes.
all i ask for,
is one last chance.

work is getting more and more boring.
everyday repeat the same old thing.
getting more tired cooping
up in that cell of mine.
really bth lohs.
zzz.
den today was on the way back home,
got into a small quarrel wif diana.
she went overboard with her words,
suaning become insulting.
i aint upset with her words,
never take it to heart.
but what i'm puzzled abt it,
is that at the point of time i did
not retaliate back by saying harsher words.
its all in my mind, those insulting words
i hold them all back.
i started thinking that if my words would hurt her
and hurt our friendship,
all along we were having fun and
enjoying each other company.
issit worth it to say those words out?
finally, i kept quiet.
maybe it may seem nth to u ppl,
but to me it means quite alot.
change -.-''' wonder what has happen to me
if it was me in the past i wouldnt hesitate
to say those words out. =/
its puzzling. >.<
wonder what's happening to me, sigh.
and, i wonder what's happening to us lately.
have forget how we used to be?
maybe there's no 'us' to you
but to me, there is.
oh ya, read something interesting in TODAY
a very diff and interesting insights into terrorism
abit funny bah, hei se you mo! >.<
http://www.sieteocho7-8.blogspot.com/

and the pain lingers on and on...