quite disappointed with myself over somethings....
arghs
opportunity is placed right before my eyes
and i screw it out, missed it destroy it. haiz. T.T
also keep coming late for work these 3 days
think my evaluation cfm drop de.
really too bloody tired le.... >.<
sigh. falling down from where u climbed to really is painful
holy shit
jus blog and then i'm going to be posted to batam again.
seriously
duno is sway or luckyyy
Labels: batam again
it's been long since i last posted an entry properly right? >.<
getting like super emo nowadays
but finally i'm able to get myself up and back on track.
seen and learn alot of things.
probably the hard way.
even left the office in a huff when idiots try to get in my way that sorta thing
luckily i was able to escape scott free somehow.
but still i think it will affected my evaluation to a certain extent
sigh nvm, just fuck care
well i'm a human, so its normal for me to lose my temper
and be in situation where i cant control my emotions right?! >.<
but the best i can do is to not let the history repeat itself.
managing a team is really not easy
especially when your only a bloody temp staff and you are not really given power
by the man who put you in charge
so who is going to listen to u, really?
i'm using every bit of my power carefully
cause i really dunwan myself to abuse my power and authority
and become like just some other authority figures
i used to very much hated in the past
this really sucks as i have to watch every move i made
be very sensitive to others feeling and yet dont compromise the efficiency & effectiveness.
it feels kinda different from sch projs team
and especially these ppl u working with are actually nice, fun loving ppl
oh ya not to mention they are already a full-grown working adult
the more you need to be sensitive to them. sigh!
feeling frustrated back den
as although this feel like a whole load of problems
but on the other hand it make me feel i'm really super useless and kiddish to be daunted
by this problem.
i'm not proud with what i 'achieved'
i'm sure what i'm doing now, some other guy could jus come in and do it better than me.
i'm still not mature, at least not enough
capability wise? i still suck, cause at batam i seen indonesian dat are actually
more capable than what i thought. slapped in the face on the first day actually. T.T
and i actually screw up certain thiings on batam i believed. rofl.
it's not deliberate! hais!
blame it on me who is not very good at communicating and building rapport with ppl
at least not readily compare to others of my age. i still seem abit shy and boring guess.
hahah! maybe a plastic surgery can make me more receptive to others! ^^
hurhur! but things to rejoice about!
really had fun at batam and learnt alot of things!
as i went there alone, i did alot of stupid things myself.
nth to do ma
and to my surprise
got a pay raise after i came back from batam! wahahahaha
weeeet!
smth to be happy and proud abt. at least my ability is being recognised to some extend. =x
hope i will be back to batam soon! ^^
Labels: lalalala
i just realise that alot of ppl at work today,
can't differentiate between work and personal matters,
let alone handling them.
its just so frustrating and idiotic
that you can give so many fucking reason to say that you cant do this cant do that.
when all you need is one reason that you should do it.
i don't see the point in just coming to work
and merrying the time away while u know the deadline is jus round the corner
i'm not saying playing a fool taking a break at work is bad,
but how could you do it all the time and let the others cover your ass for you?
it's just not fair.
and at the end of the day i'm the who clear all the farking mess
and it just gets more depressing/ frustrating
that even your friends begins to contradict you.
you're not even so near to my fucking position to contradict me
cause at the end of the day you're not the one gonna be railed at if anything went wrong.
fuck those shits with no sense of responsibility!
hurhur!
omg this is a week of surprises!
first am going to sent to Batam tml for a week soon for work on monday!!!
and second i JUST! (like one min ago) received a msg from jiajin saying
that his baby boy has finally arrive to planet earth!!!!!
let's hope for more surprises to come.
if only you knew, that at this moment,how badly i wanted to share all my feelings, emotions and happiness with you only..Labels: off to Batam for work
